Surprise!

From the realm of I Kid You Not:

Accidental anal intercourse: does it really happen?
"A postal survey was conducted of members of the Association of Forensic Physicians (UK) to determine whether accidental anal intercourse occurs in heterosexual relationships and, if so, whether intoxication by alcohol or drugs and sexual inexperience were likely to be causative factors. Of the 512 (47.9%) replies, there were 498 individuals who had had a previous heterosexual relationship and may have experienced accidental anal intercourse. Of these, there were 26 (7.2%) males and 14 (10.4%) females who reported at least one lifetime episode of accidental anal intercourse. Amongst those with a history of accidental anal intercourse, 79% reported that they were sexually experienced at the time and 83% reported that their partners were sexually experienced. Personal intoxication by alcohol or drugs at the time of accidental anal intercourse was reported by 43%, with 41% reporting that their partners were intoxicated."

http://www.ncbirofl.com/2009/08/accidental-anal-intercourse-does-it.html

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15763681

The best part?This is the kind of ...incident that is typically under-reported.In other words,these are the guys who admitted it!I wonder how many didn't.Or wouldn't....Obviously,more research is indicated>:)

Via Ryan Sager.

Small things

All the small things
-Blink 182
"All the Small Things"

The principal thing missing from hiphop music: joy.
Not message,not bling,not swagger.Not drama,not bank accounts,not booty.
Just people who enjoy what they do for a living and are willing to share that same feeling with the rest of us.
And what they shared with me,I share with you.
Ladies and gentlemen,Matt and Kim.

Boko Haram : Counting The Cost 1

Six-year-old Umar Mohamed wept Monday as his brother recounted watching sect members prepare for battle with bombs, swords and knives.

"I don't know where my parents are," whispered Abdullahi, his trousers ragged and dirty from the ground of the police station where sect members' families are being sheltered. "My father brought me here to study the Koran ... then they were killing people. I heard them."

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090804/ap_on_re_af/af_nigeria_violence

Two Weeks Late,Yet Still Appropriate

Courtesy Sinfest.Happy New Year.

Twas The Nigh Before Xmas And Not A Soul Was About....

...except Bad Santa.



Happy Holidays!

Austen Updated

I admit to reading and (enjoying) Jane Austen.So imagine my amusement when I found a Facebook version of Pride and Prejudice.Ah,the drama....

'Tis The Season...

...for lists.Y'know,it being 2 weeks to year's end and all.So I present The Top 10 Incredible Self-Surgeries.My favorite is the Mexican woman who performed a cesarean section on HERSELF.And survived.Let me quote:

Ramírez Pérez lives in rural Rio Talea Mexico which has 500 people and only one phone. In March of 2000 the 40-year-old mother of seven was alone in her cabin when her labor started. She assumed her birthing position by sitting up and leaning forward. At midnight after 12 hours of continual pain and little advancement in labor and rather than experience another fetal death that occurred from her last pregnancy Ramírez decided to operate on herself. She drank from either a bottle of rubbing alcohol or 3 small glasses of hard liquor” (different accounts vary). She then grabbed a 15-cm knife and began to cut. Ramirez sawed through skin, fat and muscle and after operating on herself for an hour she reached inside her uterus and pulled out her baby boy who breathed and cried immediately. She says she cut his umbilical cord with a pair of scissors and then passed out. When she regained consciousness she wrapped clothes around her bleeding abdomen and asked her 6-year-old son to run for help. Several hours later the village health assistant found Ramírez alert and lying beside her healthy baby. She was then taken to the nearest hospital eight hours away by car and underwent surgery to repair complications resulting from damage to her intestines incurred during her C-section. She was then released from the hospital and made a complete recovery.

Hardcore.Bumight,take note:)

Music Video Friday 10: I Wanna Lick The (W)Rapper

I can't stop grinning.
The original was a workmanlike piece of contemporary hip hop,but this.....this makes the song fun.Plus,the simply hilarious image of white youth rocking to the lyrics of a deliciously filthy hip hop track.....ROFL. This goes into my Happy playlist.I wonder if anyone else tried to cover this song....

Oh.My.God.Someone did a ballad.And it doesn't suck.


It's not as flat out hilarious as the first,but in some ways it's even more impressive.Anyway,the rock video is from Framing Hanley and the ballad is by Right Side Of The Tree.Enjoy.I know I will:)

Renegade

From Sinfest's Sunday edition


That apparently is the US Secret Service code name for the US President-elect.Some other fun facts:
• He collects Spider-Man and Conan the Barbarian comics
A comic fan!
• He has read every Harry Potter book
Who reads for pleasure!And reads fantasy!
• He ate dog meat, snake meat, and roasted grasshopper while living in Indonesia
And munched 404!
• He kept a pet ape called Tata while in Indonesia
Aboki!
• He can bench press an impressive 200lbs
Huh?On that skinny frame?
• He applied to appear in a black pin-up calendar while at Harvard but was rejected by the all-female committee
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
• He has said many of his friends in Indonesia were "street urchins"
Translation:Obama rolled with area boys.Thug life!!!:)
• His favourite music includes Miles Davis, Bob Dylan, Bach and The Fugees
What,no JayZ?At least there's no R.Kelly....

The rest are here
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/uselection2008/barackobama/3401168/Barack-Obama-The-50-facts-you-might-not-know.html

And In Other News

Obama 44.'Nuff said.

Music Video Friday 9:The Aristo Song

Presenting:the aristo anthem for 2008!Pay particular attention to the lyrics



PS There's a parody of this song by Weird Al on Youtube(if you don't know who he is,where have you BEEN?).Just so you know:)

Keeping Your Eye On The Ball(s)

I now have a new reason to laugh at guys using handsfree headsets.Let me quote the headline:

Cell Phone Use Linked to Male Infertility

Hands-Free Calls May Expose Sperm to Radiation

Apparently,cellphones slowly broil the little danglies in their skin,leading to reduced activity of their contents.This is especially the case for those using those irritating hands free sets,as they tend to park their precious phones next to the family jewels when the phones are at their most active.

So,remember,next time some yuppie wannabe gets on your nerves by yapping on his Bluetooth headset,console yourself by remembering that he is also doing this to his gonads:





And they say God is dead.
Original article: http://www.webmd.com/infertility-and-reproduction/news/20080919/cell-phone-use-linked-male-infertility?

So This Is What A Train Wreck Looks Like

You know how,as a kid,when something scary or disgusting was up on TV,you'd cover your face with your hands but peek between your fingers?That's how I felt when I watched this:


Transcript(for those with iffy bandwith):

COURIC: Why isn’t it better, Governor Palin, to spend $700 billion helping middle-class families who are struggling with health care, housing, gas and groceries? Allow them to spend more, and put more money into the economy, instead of helping these big financial institutions that played a role in creating this mess?

PALIN: That’s why I say I, like every American I’m speaking with, we're ill about this position that we have been put in. Where it is the taxpayers looking to bail out. But ultimately, what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the health care reform that is needed to help shore up our economy. Um, helping, oh, it’s got to be about job creation, too. Shoring up our economy, and putting it back on the right track. So health care reform and reducing taxes and reining in spending has got to accompany tax reductions, and tax relief for Americans, and trade — we have got to see trade as opportunity, not as, uh, competitive, um, scary thing, but one in five jobs created in the trade sector today. We’ve got to look at that as more opportunity. All of those things under the umbrella of job creation.

That is Alaskan Governor and US Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin during an interview yesterday.Fine babe,particularly for a mother of five.But if they win,this lady would be second in command of a military with around 5,000 nuclear warheads.And her boss is an old man with a history of skin cancer.

Know fear.

EDIT:You want the rest of the interview and/or the transcript,go here http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/09/25/eveningnews/main4479062.shtml

Titanic

From the Sunday edition of my favorite webcomic comes a truly evil sendup of both the current US financial crisis and the movie and song I love to hate :)


Original link http://www.sinfest.net/archive_page.php?comicID=2938

A Letter From Don Corleone

Letter,and recipient's response,below.

Oh, goody! Look what I found in my spam filter!

Vous êtes invité :: SOMEONE YOU CALL YOUR FRIEND, WANTS YOU DEAD.

Par votre hôte: IKEMBA OKOYE

Message: SOMEONE YOU CALL YOUR FRIEND, WANTS YOU DEAD.

I felt very sorry and bad for you, that your life is going to end up like this, I was paid to eliminate you and I have to do it within 10 days.

Meanwhile, I have sent my boys to track you and they have carried out the necessary investigation needed for the operation, but I ordered them to stop for a while and not to strike immediately so get

Back to me via this email (balackwood@yahoo.fr)

Ikemba Okoye.

Date: vendredi 8 août 2008
Heure: 17h 00 - 18h 00 (GMT+01:00)
Lieu: SOMEONE YOU CALL YOUR FRIEND, WANTS YOU DEAD.
Viendrez-vous ?

Répondre à cette invitation
Copyright © 2008 Yahoo! Tous droits réservés. | Conditions d’utilisation | Données personnelles

Goodness! I’m certainly quaking in my shoes! Shall I get back to this fellow? What shall I say?

Ah, I have it! Dear Ikemba: I’m so sorry that your career as a 419 fraudster didn’t work out the way you wanted. Best of luck in your new line of scam! Your friend, Jim.

Obviously,someone has been watching too many Nigerian movies.Well,I guess you have to give him points for trying standing out from the usual "I need help to smuggle money out of the country,send me your account details" crowd :)

Seriously though,how does someone with an IQ this low even learn to OPERATE a computer?Wanna bet that's actually his real name in there?At least I'm not named Ikemba :)

PS Did some Google-fu,and here is the full text of at least one of the emails

from: IKEMBA OKOYE <ikembaokoye2003@yahoo.com>
reply-to: ikembaokoye2007@yahoo.fr
to: XXX@XXX.XXX
date: Mon, Jul 28, 2008 at 9:26 AM
subject: SOMEONE YOU CALL YOUR FRIEND, WANTS YOU DEAD.

SOMEONE YOU CALL YOUR FRIEND, WANTS YOU DEAD.

I felt very sorry and bad for you, that your life is going to end like this, I was paid to eliminate you and I have to do it within 10 days.

Someone you call your friend wants you dead by all means, and the person have spent a lot of money on this, the person came to us and told us that he wants you dead and he provided us your names, photograph and other necessary information we needed about you.

Meanwhile, I have sent my boys to track you down and they have carried out the necessary investigation needed for the operation, but I ordered them to stop for a while and not to strike immediately because I just felt something good and sympathetic about you. I decided to contact you first and know why somebody will want you dead. Right now my men are monitoring you, their eyes are on you, and even the place you think is safer for you to hide might not be.

Now do you want to LIVE OR DIE? It is up to you. Get back to me now if you are ready to enter deal with me, I mean life trade, who knows, and I might just spear your life, $8,000 is all you need to spend. You will first of all pay $900 then I will send the tape of the person that want you dead to you and when the tape gets to you, you will pay the remaining $7100. If you are not ready for my help, then I will have no choice but to carry on the assignment after all I have already being paid.

Warning: do not think of contacting the police or even tell anyone because I will extend it to any member of your family since you are aware that somebody want you dead, and the person knows some members of your family as well.

For your own good I will advise you not to go out once it is 8pm until I make out time to see you and give you the tape of my discussion with the person who want you dead then you can use it to take any legal action. You can send the $900 to one of my local boy in Benin with this below information via western union or money Gram.

Receivers name. Christian Oforka.
Country. Benin.
City. Cotonou.
Question. Who made
Answer God.
Amount to be sent first $900

Good luck as I await your reply to this e-mail contact: ikembaokoye2007@yahoo.fr
Bye.

Ikemba Okoye.

Okay,I take it back.What points this guy gets for originality,he more than loses for grammar("I will spear you"),logic(crime boss/assassin rolled into one?For 8K?Ha!) and just.....AAAAARGGHHH.

This is what Nigeria's youth spends their time doing?We're doomed.

I need a drink.
Sources
http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/010497.html#010497

http://www.spicylogic.com/allenday/blog/2008/07/29/the-most-awesome-nigerian-scamspam-email-yet/

http://le-trombone.livejournal.com/92598.html

Music Video Friday 8:We Remixed The Remix

It's not often you run into an artiste who turns you onto a whole new genre of music.Good thing too,music costs money.But for me it's happened.The genre:Mashups.The artiste:Girl Talk.

Mashups generally involve mixing up two or more songs to get something recognizable yet more than the sum of its parts.Popular songs include Boulevard of Broken Songs(Green Day/Oasis/Travis/Eminem/Aerosmith),Every Car You Chase(The Police/Snow Patrol) and Smack My Orinoco Flows Up(Enya/Prodigy).

Two or three songs is usually par for the course.This guy routinely mashes together TEN tracks to make one song.Not only that,but he makes albums of the stuff.And they're FUN!His latest album is named Feed The Animals and this is track 3, "Still Here".

He's offering the album up for download at his site for free if you are unable or unwilling to pay.Just enter $0.00 and download;it is a 100MB download.Site is http://74.124.198.47/illegal-art.net/__girl__talk___feed__the__anima.ls___/

Don't say I never do anything for you:)

What Science Is Good For

Proving what things attract the opposite sex.Case in point:

Science Proves Exotic Cars Turn Women On

Quote:

David Moxon subjected 40 men and women to the sounds of a Maserati, Lamborghini and Ferrari, then measured the amount of testosterone in their saliva. He found everyone had higher levels of the stuff -- a measure of their arousal -- after hearing the revving exotics, but the amount the women had was off the charts.

A Volkswagen Polo,on the other hand,actually reduced the amount of testosterone in their saliva.So now guys have yet another reason to court bankruptcy.

Me,I want a bicycle :)

In Case You Didn't Know

The Law of Common Sense:Never accept a drink from a urologist.

Music Video Friday 7:The Afrolicious Edition

Afro,this one 's for you:)

He Completes Us

Public Service Announcement:Please ensure you are not drinking anything while watching this.Really.I warned you.




Quote of the day:
"Every time Barack Obama speaks,an angel has an orgasm."

Sublime brilliance.I heart Jon Stewart.