A Letter From Don Corleone

Letter,and recipient's response,below.

Oh, goody! Look what I found in my spam filter!

Vous êtes invité :: SOMEONE YOU CALL YOUR FRIEND, WANTS YOU DEAD.

Par votre hôte: IKEMBA OKOYE

Message: SOMEONE YOU CALL YOUR FRIEND, WANTS YOU DEAD.

I felt very sorry and bad for you, that your life is going to end up like this, I was paid to eliminate you and I have to do it within 10 days.

Meanwhile, I have sent my boys to track you and they have carried out the necessary investigation needed for the operation, but I ordered them to stop for a while and not to strike immediately so get

Back to me via this email (balackwood@yahoo.fr)

Ikemba Okoye.

Date: vendredi 8 août 2008
Heure: 17h 00 - 18h 00 (GMT+01:00)
Lieu: SOMEONE YOU CALL YOUR FRIEND, WANTS YOU DEAD.
Viendrez-vous ?

Répondre à cette invitation
Copyright © 2008 Yahoo! Tous droits réservés. | Conditions d’utilisation | Données personnelles

Goodness! I’m certainly quaking in my shoes! Shall I get back to this fellow? What shall I say?

Ah, I have it! Dear Ikemba: I’m so sorry that your career as a 419 fraudster didn’t work out the way you wanted. Best of luck in your new line of scam! Your friend, Jim.

Obviously,someone has been watching too many Nigerian movies.Well,I guess you have to give him points for trying standing out from the usual "I need help to smuggle money out of the country,send me your account details" crowd :)

Seriously though,how does someone with an IQ this low even learn to OPERATE a computer?Wanna bet that's actually his real name in there?At least I'm not named Ikemba :)

PS Did some Google-fu,and here is the full text of at least one of the emails

from: IKEMBA OKOYE <ikembaokoye2003@yahoo.com>
reply-to: ikembaokoye2007@yahoo.fr
to: XXX@XXX.XXX
date: Mon, Jul 28, 2008 at 9:26 AM
subject: SOMEONE YOU CALL YOUR FRIEND, WANTS YOU DEAD.

SOMEONE YOU CALL YOUR FRIEND, WANTS YOU DEAD.

I felt very sorry and bad for you, that your life is going to end like this, I was paid to eliminate you and I have to do it within 10 days.

Someone you call your friend wants you dead by all means, and the person have spent a lot of money on this, the person came to us and told us that he wants you dead and he provided us your names, photograph and other necessary information we needed about you.

Meanwhile, I have sent my boys to track you down and they have carried out the necessary investigation needed for the operation, but I ordered them to stop for a while and not to strike immediately because I just felt something good and sympathetic about you. I decided to contact you first and know why somebody will want you dead. Right now my men are monitoring you, their eyes are on you, and even the place you think is safer for you to hide might not be.

Now do you want to LIVE OR DIE? It is up to you. Get back to me now if you are ready to enter deal with me, I mean life trade, who knows, and I might just spear your life, $8,000 is all you need to spend. You will first of all pay $900 then I will send the tape of the person that want you dead to you and when the tape gets to you, you will pay the remaining $7100. If you are not ready for my help, then I will have no choice but to carry on the assignment after all I have already being paid.

Warning: do not think of contacting the police or even tell anyone because I will extend it to any member of your family since you are aware that somebody want you dead, and the person knows some members of your family as well.

For your own good I will advise you not to go out once it is 8pm until I make out time to see you and give you the tape of my discussion with the person who want you dead then you can use it to take any legal action. You can send the $900 to one of my local boy in Benin with this below information via western union or money Gram.

Receivers name. Christian Oforka.
Country. Benin.
City. Cotonou.
Question. Who made
Answer God.
Amount to be sent first $900

Good luck as I await your reply to this e-mail contact: ikembaokoye2007@yahoo.fr
Bye.

Ikemba Okoye.

Okay,I take it back.What points this guy gets for originality,he more than loses for grammar("I will spear you"),logic(crime boss/assassin rolled into one?For 8K?Ha!) and just.....AAAAARGGHHH.

This is what Nigeria's youth spends their time doing?We're doomed.

I need a drink.
Sources
http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/010497.html#010497

http://www.spicylogic.com/allenday/blog/2008/07/29/the-most-awesome-nigerian-scamspam-email-yet/

http://le-trombone.livejournal.com/92598.html

Music Video Friday 4 Weekend Edition:Of Man And Godzilla

"There's a war going on for your mind. If you are thinking, you are winning."
-Flobots

And the word of the day is ....macroherpetophile.Now I need to go scrub my brain.

No updates this past week;too busy.Will update soon.Generally don't do political music,but this song's gorgeous.This is "Handlebars" by Flobots.

Of Cats And Dogs

This brought a smile to my face today.



DOG DIARY

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

CAT DIARY

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed
hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the
rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to
keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of
escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.
Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I
could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this
means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and
seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.


Image at the top is courtesy of the webcomic Sinfest