Wednesday, July 9, 2008

What About The Children?

Public Service Announcement:The following post might be dangerous to your health.

Remember Cookie Monster?The adorable blue psychopath and eater of all things unhealthy?My childhood hero?He's been compromised.Coopted by the adult establishment.

Time was,you wouldn't dare present him with foliage or fruit.He was an uncompromising advocate of the finer things in life:to wit,baked goods.Not for him the societal strictures of table manners;those were for lesser men.He knew what he wanted and he took it,a state to which we could only aspire to.

Now?He eats fruit.FRUIT!Why?Kids are getting fatter,they said.We must stem the rising tide of childhood obesity,they said.You are an icon,children look up to you,they said.It is your duty;set a good example and they will follow.Of such good intentions is the road to Hades paved.

So he gave up his diet,the food for which he is named.A cookie yes,or two,or three,but before each,a serving of green.Civilized,responsible,all the things he could not be for.And with each leafy bite,in our eyes he dies some more.

To stem the outcry,they put him on the screen.Remember the kids,they tell him,go out there and beam.They get their way,he does the show,and eats the host's medal.He's reformed,it's a wonder!Now, let's go get Oscar.

My apologies for tormenting you with my....attempts at poetry.You can't say you weren't warned:)

PS Thanks for the photo,Afro.


  1. lmao, the video killed me...

    Cookie monster has turned!!! :(

  2. lmao. this is so nice & brought back memories of sesame streets.

  3. noooooooooooooooo!! the he's the COOKIE monster! this is sacrilege...all in the name of..grrr. adults are no fun anymore

  4. @afro and Florida

    File that under things currently wrong with the world.Lol.