Twas The Nigh Before Xmas And Not A Soul Was About....

...except Bad Santa.



Happy Holidays!

Austen Updated

I admit to reading and (enjoying) Jane Austen.So imagine my amusement when I found a Facebook version of Pride and Prejudice.Ah,the drama....

'Tis The Season...

...for lists.Y'know,it being 2 weeks to year's end and all.So I present The Top 10 Incredible Self-Surgeries.My favorite is the Mexican woman who performed a cesarean section on HERSELF.And survived.Let me quote:

Ramírez Pérez lives in rural Rio Talea Mexico which has 500 people and only one phone. In March of 2000 the 40-year-old mother of seven was alone in her cabin when her labor started. She assumed her birthing position by sitting up and leaning forward. At midnight after 12 hours of continual pain and little advancement in labor and rather than experience another fetal death that occurred from her last pregnancy Ramírez decided to operate on herself. She drank from either a bottle of rubbing alcohol or 3 small glasses of hard liquor” (different accounts vary). She then grabbed a 15-cm knife and began to cut. Ramirez sawed through skin, fat and muscle and after operating on herself for an hour she reached inside her uterus and pulled out her baby boy who breathed and cried immediately. She says she cut his umbilical cord with a pair of scissors and then passed out. When she regained consciousness she wrapped clothes around her bleeding abdomen and asked her 6-year-old son to run for help. Several hours later the village health assistant found Ramírez alert and lying beside her healthy baby. She was then taken to the nearest hospital eight hours away by car and underwent surgery to repair complications resulting from damage to her intestines incurred during her C-section. She was then released from the hospital and made a complete recovery.

Hardcore.Bumight,take note:)

Music Video Friday 10: I Wanna Lick The (W)Rapper

I can't stop grinning.
The original was a workmanlike piece of contemporary hip hop,but this.....this makes the song fun.Plus,the simply hilarious image of white youth rocking to the lyrics of a deliciously filthy hip hop track.....ROFL. This goes into my Happy playlist.I wonder if anyone else tried to cover this song....

Oh.My.God.Someone did a ballad.And it doesn't suck.


It's not as flat out hilarious as the first,but in some ways it's even more impressive.Anyway,the rock video is from Framing Hanley and the ballad is by Right Side Of The Tree.Enjoy.I know I will:)

Renegade

From Sinfest's Sunday edition


That apparently is the US Secret Service code name for the US President-elect.Some other fun facts:
• He collects Spider-Man and Conan the Barbarian comics
A comic fan!
• He has read every Harry Potter book
Who reads for pleasure!And reads fantasy!
• He ate dog meat, snake meat, and roasted grasshopper while living in Indonesia
And munched 404!
• He kept a pet ape called Tata while in Indonesia
Aboki!
• He can bench press an impressive 200lbs
Huh?On that skinny frame?
• He applied to appear in a black pin-up calendar while at Harvard but was rejected by the all-female committee
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
• He has said many of his friends in Indonesia were "street urchins"
Translation:Obama rolled with area boys.Thug life!!!:)
• His favourite music includes Miles Davis, Bob Dylan, Bach and The Fugees
What,no JayZ?At least there's no R.Kelly....

The rest are here
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/uselection2008/barackobama/3401168/Barack-Obama-The-50-facts-you-might-not-know.html

And In Other News

Obama 44.'Nuff said.

Music Video Friday 9:The Aristo Song

Presenting:the aristo anthem for 2008!Pay particular attention to the lyrics



PS There's a parody of this song by Weird Al on Youtube(if you don't know who he is,where have you BEEN?).Just so you know:)

Keeping Your Eye On The Ball(s)

I now have a new reason to laugh at guys using handsfree headsets.Let me quote the headline:

Cell Phone Use Linked to Male Infertility

Hands-Free Calls May Expose Sperm to Radiation

Apparently,cellphones slowly broil the little danglies in their skin,leading to reduced activity of their contents.This is especially the case for those using those irritating hands free sets,as they tend to park their precious phones next to the family jewels when the phones are at their most active.

So,remember,next time some yuppie wannabe gets on your nerves by yapping on his Bluetooth headset,console yourself by remembering that he is also doing this to his gonads:





And they say God is dead.
Original article: http://www.webmd.com/infertility-and-reproduction/news/20080919/cell-phone-use-linked-male-infertility?

So This Is What A Train Wreck Looks Like

You know how,as a kid,when something scary or disgusting was up on TV,you'd cover your face with your hands but peek between your fingers?That's how I felt when I watched this:


Transcript(for those with iffy bandwith):

COURIC: Why isn’t it better, Governor Palin, to spend $700 billion helping middle-class families who are struggling with health care, housing, gas and groceries? Allow them to spend more, and put more money into the economy, instead of helping these big financial institutions that played a role in creating this mess?

PALIN: That’s why I say I, like every American I’m speaking with, we're ill about this position that we have been put in. Where it is the taxpayers looking to bail out. But ultimately, what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the health care reform that is needed to help shore up our economy. Um, helping, oh, it’s got to be about job creation, too. Shoring up our economy, and putting it back on the right track. So health care reform and reducing taxes and reining in spending has got to accompany tax reductions, and tax relief for Americans, and trade — we have got to see trade as opportunity, not as, uh, competitive, um, scary thing, but one in five jobs created in the trade sector today. We’ve got to look at that as more opportunity. All of those things under the umbrella of job creation.

That is Alaskan Governor and US Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin during an interview yesterday.Fine babe,particularly for a mother of five.But if they win,this lady would be second in command of a military with around 5,000 nuclear warheads.And her boss is an old man with a history of skin cancer.

Know fear.

EDIT:You want the rest of the interview and/or the transcript,go here http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/09/25/eveningnews/main4479062.shtml

Titanic

From the Sunday edition of my favorite webcomic comes a truly evil sendup of both the current US financial crisis and the movie and song I love to hate :)


Original link http://www.sinfest.net/archive_page.php?comicID=2938

A Letter From Don Corleone

Letter,and recipient's response,below.

Oh, goody! Look what I found in my spam filter!

Vous êtes invité :: SOMEONE YOU CALL YOUR FRIEND, WANTS YOU DEAD.

Par votre hôte: IKEMBA OKOYE

Message: SOMEONE YOU CALL YOUR FRIEND, WANTS YOU DEAD.

I felt very sorry and bad for you, that your life is going to end up like this, I was paid to eliminate you and I have to do it within 10 days.

Meanwhile, I have sent my boys to track you and they have carried out the necessary investigation needed for the operation, but I ordered them to stop for a while and not to strike immediately so get

Back to me via this email (balackwood@yahoo.fr)

Ikemba Okoye.

Date: vendredi 8 août 2008
Heure: 17h 00 - 18h 00 (GMT+01:00)
Lieu: SOMEONE YOU CALL YOUR FRIEND, WANTS YOU DEAD.
Viendrez-vous ?

Répondre à cette invitation
Copyright © 2008 Yahoo! Tous droits réservés. | Conditions d’utilisation | Données personnelles

Goodness! I’m certainly quaking in my shoes! Shall I get back to this fellow? What shall I say?

Ah, I have it! Dear Ikemba: I’m so sorry that your career as a 419 fraudster didn’t work out the way you wanted. Best of luck in your new line of scam! Your friend, Jim.

Obviously,someone has been watching too many Nigerian movies.Well,I guess you have to give him points for trying standing out from the usual "I need help to smuggle money out of the country,send me your account details" crowd :)

Seriously though,how does someone with an IQ this low even learn to OPERATE a computer?Wanna bet that's actually his real name in there?At least I'm not named Ikemba :)

PS Did some Google-fu,and here is the full text of at least one of the emails

from: IKEMBA OKOYE <ikembaokoye2003@yahoo.com>
reply-to: ikembaokoye2007@yahoo.fr
to: XXX@XXX.XXX
date: Mon, Jul 28, 2008 at 9:26 AM
subject: SOMEONE YOU CALL YOUR FRIEND, WANTS YOU DEAD.

SOMEONE YOU CALL YOUR FRIEND, WANTS YOU DEAD.

I felt very sorry and bad for you, that your life is going to end like this, I was paid to eliminate you and I have to do it within 10 days.

Someone you call your friend wants you dead by all means, and the person have spent a lot of money on this, the person came to us and told us that he wants you dead and he provided us your names, photograph and other necessary information we needed about you.

Meanwhile, I have sent my boys to track you down and they have carried out the necessary investigation needed for the operation, but I ordered them to stop for a while and not to strike immediately because I just felt something good and sympathetic about you. I decided to contact you first and know why somebody will want you dead. Right now my men are monitoring you, their eyes are on you, and even the place you think is safer for you to hide might not be.

Now do you want to LIVE OR DIE? It is up to you. Get back to me now if you are ready to enter deal with me, I mean life trade, who knows, and I might just spear your life, $8,000 is all you need to spend. You will first of all pay $900 then I will send the tape of the person that want you dead to you and when the tape gets to you, you will pay the remaining $7100. If you are not ready for my help, then I will have no choice but to carry on the assignment after all I have already being paid.

Warning: do not think of contacting the police or even tell anyone because I will extend it to any member of your family since you are aware that somebody want you dead, and the person knows some members of your family as well.

For your own good I will advise you not to go out once it is 8pm until I make out time to see you and give you the tape of my discussion with the person who want you dead then you can use it to take any legal action. You can send the $900 to one of my local boy in Benin with this below information via western union or money Gram.

Receivers name. Christian Oforka.
Country. Benin.
City. Cotonou.
Question. Who made
Answer God.
Amount to be sent first $900

Good luck as I await your reply to this e-mail contact: ikembaokoye2007@yahoo.fr
Bye.

Ikemba Okoye.

Okay,I take it back.What points this guy gets for originality,he more than loses for grammar("I will spear you"),logic(crime boss/assassin rolled into one?For 8K?Ha!) and just.....AAAAARGGHHH.

This is what Nigeria's youth spends their time doing?We're doomed.

I need a drink.
Sources
http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/010497.html#010497

http://www.spicylogic.com/allenday/blog/2008/07/29/the-most-awesome-nigerian-scamspam-email-yet/

http://le-trombone.livejournal.com/92598.html

Music Video Friday 8:We Remixed The Remix

It's not often you run into an artiste who turns you onto a whole new genre of music.Good thing too,music costs money.But for me it's happened.The genre:Mashups.The artiste:Girl Talk.

Mashups generally involve mixing up two or more songs to get something recognizable yet more than the sum of its parts.Popular songs include Boulevard of Broken Songs(Green Day/Oasis/Travis/Eminem/Aerosmith),Every Car You Chase(The Police/Snow Patrol) and Smack My Orinoco Flows Up(Enya/Prodigy).

Two or three songs is usually par for the course.This guy routinely mashes together TEN tracks to make one song.Not only that,but he makes albums of the stuff.And they're FUN!His latest album is named Feed The Animals and this is track 3, "Still Here".

He's offering the album up for download at his site for free if you are unable or unwilling to pay.Just enter $0.00 and download;it is a 100MB download.Site is http://74.124.198.47/illegal-art.net/__girl__talk___feed__the__anima.ls___/

Don't say I never do anything for you:)

What Science Is Good For

Proving what things attract the opposite sex.Case in point:

Science Proves Exotic Cars Turn Women On

Quote:

David Moxon subjected 40 men and women to the sounds of a Maserati, Lamborghini and Ferrari, then measured the amount of testosterone in their saliva. He found everyone had higher levels of the stuff -- a measure of their arousal -- after hearing the revving exotics, but the amount the women had was off the charts.

A Volkswagen Polo,on the other hand,actually reduced the amount of testosterone in their saliva.So now guys have yet another reason to court bankruptcy.

Me,I want a bicycle :)

In Case You Didn't Know

The Law of Common Sense:Never accept a drink from a urologist.

Music Video Friday 7:The Afrolicious Edition

Afro,this one 's for you:)

He Completes Us

Public Service Announcement:Please ensure you are not drinking anything while watching this.Really.I warned you.




Quote of the day:
"Every time Barack Obama speaks,an angel has an orgasm."

Sublime brilliance.I heart Jon Stewart.

QFT

"Why so serious?"

-Heath Ledger,"The Dark Knight",2008

A friend forwarded this to me so I thought I'd share:)

A rolling stone ...... na person push am.
A stitch in time...... dey prevent further tear tear.
Birds of the same feather......na the same mama born dem.
One good turn......na power steering be that.
A bird in hand......na christmas chicken be that.
He who laughs last......na mumu. Why him no catch the joke the first time?
The patient dog......na hunger go kill am.

I Should Have Been A Banker

The streets is watching-JayZ

California: Citibank Stole $14 Million from its Customers

You know Citibank.196 yrs old,operates in 100 countries.

• 2005 Sales $83,642,000,000
• 2005 Net Income $24,589,000,000
• 2006 Employees 300,000
• 2005 Year End Assets $1.50 trillion US Dollars

Uh huh,that Citibank.Their victims:their poorest clients.
Key quotes:

“The company knowingly stole from its customers, mostly poor people and the recently deceased, when it designed and implemented the sweeps,” Brown said. “When a whistleblower uncovered the scam and brought it to his superiors, they buried the information and continued the illegal practice.”

In July of 2001, a Citibank employee uncovered the practice and brought it to the attention of his superiors. The employee was later fired for discussing the credit sweeps with an internal audit team.

In the words of a Citibank executive, “Stealing from our customers is a business decision, not a legal decision.” The same executive later said that the sweep program could not be stopped because it would reduce the executive bonus pool, Brown charged.

In other words,they stole from the people who could not afford to complain,much like our kleptocracy.What difference is there,pray tell,between these fellows and the kleptomaniacs we have running our parastatals and ministries?Opportunity.That's it.Deplorable,but oddly comforting.

The moral of the story?One,underneath our skin,we're all the same.Two,paraphrasing the Bible,those that have little,even that shall be taken away and added unto he that has much.And three, mattress bankers may be on to something;at least if you're poor:)

Thanks For The Memories

Thanks for the memories
-Fallout Boy "Thanks For The Memories"

Isaac Lee Hayes Jr (Aug 20, 1942-Aug 10, 2008)



Bernard Jeffrey McCullough (October 5, 1957 – August 9, 2008)

Look What I Found!

So what if you can see the darkest side of me?
No one will ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become

-Three Days Grace,"Animal I Have Become"

When too lazy to write anything,put up a favorite article!An article about one of my personal faves,this guy.




COOKIE MONSTER SEARCHES DEEP WITHIN HIMSELF AND ASKS: IS ME REALLY MONSTER?

BY ANDY F. BRYAN

- - - -

Me know. Me have problem.

Me love cookies. Me tend to get out of control when me see cookies. Me know it not natural to react so strongly to cookies, but me have weakness. Me know me do wrong. Me know it isn't normal. Me see disapproving looks. Me see stares. Me hurt inside.

When me get back to apartment, after cookie binge, me can't stand looking in mirror—fur matted with chocolate-chip smears and infested with crumbs. Me try but me never able to wash all of them out. Me don't think me is monster. Me just furry blue person who love cookies too much. Me no ask for it. Me just born that way.

Me was thinking and me just don't get it. Why is me a monster? No one else called monster on Sesame Street. Well, no one who isn't really monster. Two-Headed Monster have two heads, so he real monster. Herry Monster strong and look angry, so he probably real monster, too. But is me really monster?

Me thinks me have serious problem. Me thinks me addicted. But since when it acceptable to call addict monster? It affliction. It disease. It burden. But does it make me monster?

How can they be so callous? Me know there something wrong with me, but who in Sesame Street doesn't suffer from mental disease or psychological disorder? They don't call the vampire with math fetish monster, and me pretty sure he undead and drinks blood. No one calls Grover monster, despite frequent delusional episodes and obsessive-compulsive tendencies. And the obnoxious red Grover—oh, what his name?—Elmo! Yes, Elmo live all day in imaginary world and no one call him monster. No, they think he cute. And Big Bird! Don't get me started on Big Bird! He unnaturally gigantic talking canary! How is that not monster? Snuffleupagus not supposed to exist—woolly mammoths extinct. His very existence monstrous. Me least like monster. Me maybe have unhealthy obsession, but me no monster.

No. Me wrong. Me too hard on self. Me no have unhealthy obsession. Me love cookies, but it no hurt anyone. Me just enthusiast. Everyone has something they like most, something they get excited about. Why not me? Me perfectly normal. Me like cookies. So what? Cookies delicious. Cookies do not make one monster. Everyone loves cookies.

Me no monster. Me OK guy. Me OK guy who eat cookies.

Who me kidding? Me know me never actually eat cookies. Me only crumble cookies in mouth, but me no swallow. Me can't swallow. Me no have no esophagus. Me no have no trachea. Me only have black fabric throat. Me not supposed to be able to even talk.

Me no eat cookies.

Me destroy cookies.

Me crush cookies.

Me mutilate cookies.

Me make it so no one get cookies.

Everyone right. Me really is cookie monster.

Music Video Friday 6:I wish I wasn't late

Johnny was a chemist,
Now Johnny is no more,
Because what he thought was H20,
Was H2SO4.

-Anonymous

I love power ballads.In fact,I love anything that gives me an excuse to hear electric guitars and violins in the same song.So when you take a metal band and throw them together with a symphony orchestra,you have my attention.Throw in a trained operatic soprano and you have my new favorite band.

For some reason they don't have too many videos,but I found this one;also happens to be one of my favorites.This is I Wish I Had An Angel by Nightwish.

PS Am I the only one who thinks the male singer's beard is ridiculous?

Strangeness

This is the house that funk built

-Groove Armada,"I See You Baby"

Believe it or not,that is the face of a porn star.74yrs old,350 films and still going strong.

Shigeo Tokuda is, in fact, his screen name. He prefers not to disclose his real name because, he insists, his wife and daughter have no idea that he has appeared in about 350 films over the past 14 years. And in his double life, Tokuda arguably embodies the contemporary state of Japan's sexuality: in surveys conducted by organizations ranging from the World Health Organization (WHO) to the condom-maker Durex, Japan is repeatedly found to be one of the most sexless societies in the industrialized world.

*Giggle*Wait,it get's better.

A WHO report released in March found that 1 in 4 married couples in Japan had not made love in the previous year, while 38% of couples in their 50s no longer have sex at all. Those figures were attributed to the stresses of Japanese working life.

Huh?In a country with a life expectancy of 81yrs?STRESS?

Yet at the same time, the country has seen a surge in demand for pornography that has turned adult videos into a billion-dollar industry, with "elder porn" one of its fastest-growing genres.

So we have an aging population,falling sexual intercourse rates,shrinking population,and growing porn industry.Something does not compute.
For those interested,you can find the full article on Time.com HERE

I Give You....

....The Incredibles!Lol.

Prenups Are Not Enough

Now this is a WTF moment.She actually sued? and WON?Granted,the guy sounds like something of an asshole,but how did she actually win a lawsuit citing breach of contract for a broken engagement?I can understand suing for wedding expenses(apparently,in the US it's traditional for the bride and/or her family to pay for the wedding) but THIS?Haba.And I suspect that in this case at least the guy probably bore the expenses,being (apparently) quite well off.

So to summarize,guy lost $150k + $30k(he gave her to pay off HER credit card debts)+2 karat engagement ring.At a minimum. The sad part is,this is probably a bargain compared to a divorce.Only in America.

How To Sell S**t

I love smart commercials.It probably has something to do with the dearth of really good commercials when I was growing up,but a really good commercial burrows into my head and takes up residence.The Enigma song "Return to Innocence" is forever associated with the Olympics for me.And just remembering the old Joy soap commercial still brings smiles to my face.Thermocool's old ad?Alagbin's ad?I'd be here all day.

So,here are two others that that have caught my eye(and ear,and imagination).Just...put away your wallets,okay?






Regular MV Friday'll be back this Friday.Have a good week.

Music Video Friday 5:Stereotyping

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Ever categorized people by music?Try it.I used to.Time was,you could tell the testosterone poisoned by the size and composition of their CD collections.Tupac,Notorious BIG,Dre,Nas,JayZ,50 Cent,The Game;if their CD collection had these artistes in greater than 75%,the guy was often a victim of testosterone poisoning,which often resulted in expenditure of large amounts of time,money and electricity maintaining the requisite "image".Side effects included going into debt and drinking garri for dinner.

Then there were the Celine Dion addicts.Often characterized by an infatuation with Indian movies and South American telenovellas,they exhibited tendencies straight out of a Meg Ryan flick.Needless to say,they were(mostly)female.Usually Toni Braxton fans as well.Often responsible for the drinking garri state of the testosterone poisoned.

There were also the people who bought Kenny Rogers albums(dry),Mary Mary(churchalicious),Enya&Tracy Chapman(pushovers),pop(bourgeois),and rock(weirdos).

I suspect it still (largely)holds true.The specific musicians may have changed,but the core themes remain.Issues of masculinity,of expectations,of rebellion.That and people just being pricks:).You all have a lovely weekend.

From a Greek brother called Nicolas Georgakis.If you don't enjoy this,you have no soul.

Music Video Friday The Extremely Late Edition:When Silly Is Also Happy

I almost forgot to put this up.

The guy's name is Matt Harding;he's one of these oyibos that somehow manage to get away with working very little for at least part of their lives and still manage to keep an apartment,a girlfriend and a semblance of a social life.(If anyone ever figures out how,drop me a line.)

Anyhoo,he travels the world,does a funny dance on camera,and puts them up on the Net.For which I say thank you,because the latest video brings a smile to my face.Maybe it will to you too.This is the 2008 version.The soundtrack is a song called Praan.Just goes to show white people can't dance,but they can have fun:).Enjoy.

2Hearts

So I finally get around to doing this.Sorry it took me so long.Stop hitting me,Icequeen!I said I was sorry!Help...

Anyway,these were the rules:

1. Put Your iTunes/Music player on Shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT!!! After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 5 other people and then let them know they’ve been tagged to do the meme themselves!


IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OK?", YOU SAY:
Moratorium-Alanis Morissette
In which case I'd just be fronting.Or reading a book.Lol

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Rush Rush-Paula Abdul
Quite the opposite,I'm afraid.

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL:
Baby,Baby,Baby-TLC
See me see question sha.Go listen to the song.

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Intro-RAW
Every day a new beginning,yes?

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Dusk and Summer-Dashboard Confessional
WTF?

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
The Man Who Sold The World-David Bowie.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Ataraxia-Everclear
Once upon a time,yes.Not now;too old for it:)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
See You On The Other Side-Ozzie Osbourne
No rush.Stay a while,smell the flowers.Have a cookie.

WHAT IS 2+2?
She's So High-Tal Bachman
This makes absolutely no sense.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BESTFRIEND?
Take It-Staind
The person(s) who take my BS.And whose BS I take in turn.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Lithium-Evanesence
My antimanic.Complete with side-effects:)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
You Say-Vertical Horizons.
For others to tell.I just live it.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
All We Are-OneRepublic
Well,I would,but it sounds like too much work.

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Calling All Angels-Train
Oh,this I definitely agree.Just throw in the halo,angelic choirs and Chanel perfume.And it's all MINE!!!

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Again-Lenny Kravitz.
Me I no understand o....

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Somewhere Only We Know-Keane
By dance,I suppose you mean shuffle self-consciously to.I can only hope.Else the next song might be more appropriate....

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Handcuffs-Brand New
Yes o!"Do not go gentle into that good night.."I fully intend to be a rambunctious senior,provided I get to live that long.

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
I'm Gonna Love You Just A Little More Baby-Kool And The Gang
*Cough*...Moving on...

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Everything I Do-Bryan Adams.
Enough said.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Away-Breaking Benjamins
Not here.And I miss them.

WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?
2Hearts-Kylie Minogue
Hmm.Media Monkey has issues.Either that,or someone's trying to tell me something.


Bonus tracks include:

-Smack My Bitch Up-Prodigy

-American Woman-Lenny Kravitz

-Lie To Me-Bon Jovi

-Age Ain't Nothing But A Number-Aaliyah

-1973-James Blunt

-Insane In The Membrane-Naughty by Nature

-Book of Days-Enya

-Feels Like Tonight-Daughtry

-Good Enough-Evanesence

There it is.Make of it what you will.I'm off;hunger pangs.L8r.

What About The Children?

Public Service Announcement:The following post might be dangerous to your health.

Remember Cookie Monster?The adorable blue psychopath and eater of all things unhealthy?My childhood hero?He's been compromised.Coopted by the adult establishment.




Time was,you wouldn't dare present him with foliage or fruit.He was an uncompromising advocate of the finer things in life:to wit,baked goods.Not for him the societal strictures of table manners;those were for lesser men.He knew what he wanted and he took it,a state to which we could only aspire to.

Now?He eats fruit.FRUIT!Why?Kids are getting fatter,they said.We must stem the rising tide of childhood obesity,they said.You are an icon,children look up to you,they said.It is your duty;set a good example and they will follow.Of such good intentions is the road to Hades paved.

So he gave up his diet,the food for which he is named.A cookie yes,or two,or three,but before each,a serving of green.Civilized,responsible,all the things he could not be for.And with each leafy bite,in our eyes he dies some more.





To stem the outcry,they put him on the screen.Remember the kids,they tell him,go out there and beam.They get their way,he does the show,and eats the host's medal.He's reformed,it's a wonder!Now, let's go get Oscar.

My apologies for tormenting you with my....attempts at poetry.You can't say you weren't warned:)

PS Thanks for the photo,Afro.

Music Video Friday 4 Weekend Edition:Being What You Want MeTo Be

And the word of the day is wigga.Try as I might,I can't find a similar term for Nigerians guilty of the same crime.You know,the brand name wearing,"men"spouting,Tupac-quoting,money blowing characters who try to act as "hood"(and by this I mean black American 'hood)as possible,becoming in effect caricatures of the people they try to ape.It's particularly funny when said fellows are wearing obvious knockoffs and blowing money you know they are going to need for breakfast tomorrow.A little less so when they hit you up for a loan.Most grow out of it.The others starve to death:)

I'm gonna cheat here:I could not find a video for this song so I'll just put up the audio.This is the Numb/Encore remix featuring Dr Dre,Eminem and 50 Cent.



And just because I love this song,here's the original Numb piano piece by a fellow called TheKen.Enjoy.

Sleeping Off The Week

Have a post to put up today,as soon as I finish writing it that is:)

Music Video Friday 4 Weekend Edition:Of Man And Godzilla

"There's a war going on for your mind. If you are thinking, you are winning."
-Flobots

And the word of the day is ....macroherpetophile.Now I need to go scrub my brain.

No updates this past week;too busy.Will update soon.Generally don't do political music,but this song's gorgeous.This is "Handlebars" by Flobots.

Taking The Jump:Music Video Friday 3

"Beauty isn't in the eye of the beholder;I've checked.There's nothing in there but veins and goo."
-Stephen Colbert.

I just found out two of my songs off my current playlist actually deal with suicide.Who da thunk it?The videos are so very different...

Anyway,Seether are a South African band(imagine that!) who have found international success with their own blend of modern rock.Off the 2007 album Finding Beauty In Negative Spaces,this is "Rise Above This"



Fun fact:They were formerly known as Saron Gas.Have a lovely weekend:)

And On the Third Day....

Everybody likes to dance to a happy song
~Weezer,"Pork and Beans",2008

Just spent my entire weekend babysitting my computer which died last week.Two days,multiple system recoveries,two Windows installations and one hard drive format later,my computer is back online.Hallelujah!

In celebration,I present a Soulja Boy/MC Hammer medley by the good inmates of the CPDRC.Now if you'll excuse me,I'm off to listen to some happy music:)

Others Said It Better

Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later...that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life.
~ Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities


That is the thankless position of the father in the family - the provider for all, and the enemy of all.
~ J. August Strindberg


The older I get,the more I sympathize.
Happy Father's Day Dad.

Requiem

Where now the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing?
Where is the helm and the hauberk, and the bright hair flowing?
Where is the hand on the harpstring, and the red fire glowing?
Where is the spring and the harvest and the tall corn growing?
They have passed like rain on the mountain, like a wind in the meadow;
The days have gone down in the West behind the hills into shadow.
Who shall gather the smoke of the dead wood burning,
Or behold the flowing years from the Sea returning?

-Unknown Rohirrim poet,of Eorl the Young,
circa year 2600 of the Third Age.


RIP Ifeanyi
1991-2008

Music Video Friday 3:Late Edition

I'm stumped,so I'll fall back on an old favorite.This was my "drive the neighbours nuts" song a few years ago.It's a good thing they were so understanding.And that I had such thick walls:)

Ladies and gentlemen,"Vindicated" by Dashboard Confessional.

Of Cats And Dogs

This brought a smile to my face today.



DOG DIARY

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

CAT DIARY

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed
hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the
rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to
keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of
escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.
Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I
could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this
means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and
seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.


Image at the top is courtesy of the webcomic Sinfest

And In Other News

Womens' brains shut down during orgasm

From the good folks at Scientific American,no less.Still trying to digest the rest of the article.Apparently they got subjects to engage in sexual activity INSIDE PET scanners(basically fancy ultrasound machines).The things we do for science,eh?

Estupido

Woman raped over phone?

Apparently Nigeria doesn't have a monopoly on stupidity.Defamation suit,anyone?

Nothing New Under The Sun

"The Earth is degenerating today. Bribery and corruption abound. Children no longer obey their parents, every man wants to write a book, and it is evident that the end of the world is fast approaching." --Assyrian tablet c. 2800 BC, unearthed near Babylon

Sounds familiar.

Truth

No mother ever dreams that her daughter's going to grow up
to be a junkie,
No mother ever dreams that her daughter's going to grow up
to sleep alone.
-Against Me,"Thrash Unreal",2007.

Music Video Friday 2:Songs Of Our Future Past

I just do what the voices inside my head tell me to do-Anonymous

In recent days music has been on my mind,even more than usual.That's at least partly the fault of various bloggers recounting what can only be described as movie sequences set to music. Freaksho mentioned bolting from a riot to the accompaniment of One Winged Angel.Then Carlang got his kungfu on to the backing of 9ice singing Gongo Aso(still has me in stitches,that one).I suspect neither of them will ever consider listen to either song in quite the same way again.

Which brings me to these:four of the most persistent songs I've ever listened to.All heard before I hit puberty;all memorable,if in different ways.

Donna Summer - She Works Hard For The Money



This one's a Mother's Day song,no doubt about it.I can't even remember how old I was when I first heard this.


Lisa Lisa & The Cult Jam - I Wonder If I Take You Home



Anyone else remember this one?I don't think I was more than 8 first time I heard this song.My first real party song;even then,I couldn't help thinking she looked...striking.Particularly in that pink.And that hair!Of course,now I think she looks striking for somewhat different reasons:)

Chubby Checkers & The Fat Boys -The Twist



This one is permanently linked with NTA and cartoons for me,from the days when NTA actually made an effort to entertain you.It always takes me to my happy place.YOUR PARTY'S NEXT!

Bob Geldof-Love Like A Rocket



Now this haunted me for a long time.I heard it exactly once when I was eleven or so and it never left me.The words "Love like a rocket on fire" stayed with me through secondary school and Uni and I never was able to identify it.Till now.God bless the Interwebs:)

Lovely weekend y'all.

This Is Why Being Short Sucks

For Hengish, courtesy of Stuffblackpeoplehate.

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mothers Day.Called your mother yet?No?Well,too late.Better luck next year.I came across a lovely Mother's Day tribute at this link: Anand Lal Shimpi
Read it;I suspect it'll sound familiar.

In related news,apparently we DO marry our mothers.
Culled from Yahoo News Sunday:

Mother is role model in son's choice of wife: study

Wed May 7, 11:32 AM ET

If a man's mother is highly educated, chances are the woman he marries will have a similar education, according to a new study.

Researchers at the University of Iowa found that nearly 80 percent of high-achieving men who were sons of mothers with college degrees married women with a similar education.

And 62 percent of men whose mothers had graduate degrees tied the knot with a graduate degree holder.

"These young men look up to their mothers as role models. They grew up in a family where their mothers were educated women," sociologist Christine Whelan, who conducted the study, said in an interview.

"For an increasing number of these men ... when they make their own choices about someone who they think will be a good wife in the future or a good mother, they go back to their role models."

Whelan and her colleague Christie Boxer studied data on 3,700 people who took part in a survey about men and the educational level of the women close to them.

All the men surveyed were considered to be high achievers in their 20s and 30s who earned salaries in the top 10 percent for their age group.

The researchers found that more than 70 percent of the men had mothers who worked while they were growing up, and that the same group was twice as likely to marry women who made $50,000 or more a year.

Whelan, who interviewed more than 100 men and has written a book entitled "Why Smart Men Marry Smart Women," found many men welcomed the idea of a working spouse.

"They are increasing excited about the idea that they won't have to be the only bread winner in the family, so these men are attracted to women who have a job and express a continuing interest to work," Whelan explained.

Original article at this link:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080507/lf_nm_life/marriage_mothers_dc;_ylt=ArZqoA5W9jiIBiKUK8kGJkiGWo14



I suspect this applies to other characteristics as well.Thoughts?

Music Video Friday I :The Case of The Jedi Wannabe

I use my music as a weapon-Disturbed.

In honour of my first Music Video Friday,I present Obiwon singing "Onyinye".Agreed,the guy's sunglasses no make am,the acting sucked and the babe used the wrong shade of lipstick.Still,a nice song.







And just for Freaksho,the original video for my previous post.It's Sick Puppies,singing "All The Same".

Tag,I'm it.

I'm it,courtesy Freaksho.So,six unspectacular quirks of mine, and then I can share the love.Rather like a communicable disease,don't you think?Anyway,here goes:

1)When I'm contemplative,I suck my tongue.I also cover my left ear with my left arm or shoulder. I have been doing this for as long as I remember,despite maternal efforts to....cure me.I suspect the Freudians out here could write theses on the implications.Moving on...

2)I like trivia.Distance to Alpha Centauri?4 lightyears.Capital city of Outer Mongolia?Ullan Bator.I'm nowhere near that Jennings fellow,but I like to think I can hold my own.

3)I love books.I have read a lot in my time,from fiction through autobiogaphies to war stories,but still mainly fiction,specifically science fiction and fantasy.I've even read romance(M&B,Silhouette,Harlequin) when I had nothing better around.The quality of your bookshelf is a factor in whether I respect your opinions or not.

4)People bore me.Too many people lose their sense of wonder by the time they're ten.Too many people believe education is what you do to get a degree.Too many people stop reading when they finish school.And far too many people are too self involved to actually enjoy the world around them.

5)I have a temper.Buried deep and hedged around with row after row of inhibition and warnings of the cost of anger,but it's there.I've lived the term "blinding rage".Add that to a mule headed stubborness,and there is potential for....incidents.Thankfully,they're pretty rare.

6)Makeup fascinates me.The whole process of applying warpaint has always been interesting to watch.The results are almost as interesting,and often provides unintended amusement;anybody remember the false eyebrow craze?

Okay,I think that's enough show and tell for one afternoon.Next up:Icequeen,Syd , Afrobabe and Hengish.Your turn.

Reach Out And Touch Someone

Either I'm becoming a real softy,or this is something special.Tell me what you think.Meantime,I think I'm going to go hug someone.





Music by Sick Puppies "All The Same".

Hiza Makura

Now this is sad.





Apparently, Hiza Makura translates to"Girlfriend Knee Pillow".



The marketer bills it as "a perfect replica of a mini-skirted pair of legs to give you comfort when you feel blue. Now you can lay your head in the lap of a beautiful and caring woman even if you're home alone." http://www.jbox.com/PRODUCT/FY352


The fact that someone would actually need to buy something like this....well,imagine how lonely he would have to be.Now stop imagining:it'll just depress you.I know it depressed me.

13 Is The Magic Number

Remember Missy Elliott singing about how she "don't want no one minute man"?Well,turns out the magic number is 13.As in 13 minutes.I shall make no further comment for fear of self-incrimination:)

Good sexual intercourse lasts minutes, not hours, therapists say

Satisfactory sexual intercourse for couples lasts from 3 to 13 minutes, contrary to popular fantasy about the need for hours of sexual activity, according to a survey of U.S. and Canadian sex therapists.

Penn State Erie researchers Eric Corty and Jenay Guardiani conducted a survey of 50 full members of the Society for Sex Therapy and Research, which include psychologists, physicians, social workers, marriage/family therapists and nurses who have collectively seen thousands of patients over several decades.

Thirty-four, or 68 percent, of the group responded and rated a range of time amounts for sexual intercourse, from penetration of the vagina by the penis until ejaculation, that they considered adequate, desirable, too short and too long.

The average therapists’ responses defined the ranges of intercourse activity times: "adequate," from 3-7 minutes; "desirable," from 7-13 minutes; "too short" from 1-2 minutes; and "too long" from 10-30 minutes.

"A man’s or woman’s interpretation of his or her sexual functioning as well as the partner’s relies on personal beliefs developed in part from society’s messages, formal and informal," the researchers said. “"Unfortunately, today’s popular culture has reinforced stereotypes about sexual activity. Many men and women seem to believe the fantasy model of large penises, rock-hard erections and all-night-long intercourse. "

Past research has found that a large percentage of men and women, who responded, wanted sex to last 30 minutes or longer.

"This seems a situation ripe for disappointment and dissatisfaction," said lead author Eric Corty, associate professor of psychology. "With this survey, we hope to dispel such fantasies and encourage men and women with realistic data about acceptable sexual intercourse, thus preventing sexual disappointments and dysfunctions."

Corty and Guardiani, then-undergraduate student and now a University graduate, are publishing their findings in the May issue of the Journal of Sexual Medicine, but the article is currently available online.

The survey’s research also has implications for treatment of people with existing sexual problems.

"If a patient is concerned about how long intercourse should last, these data can help shift the patient away from a concern about physical disorders and to be initially treated with counseling, instead of medicine," Corty noted.

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/03/080331145115.htm

We All Wanna Be Rockstars

This is why you only go drinking with friends.That way,you have someone to blame when you are caught on camera like this:



Camera phones are SUCH nifty little things.

Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?

Where is my Marlboro man
Where is his shiny gun
Where is my lonely ranger
Where have all the cowboys gone
-Paula Cole"Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?"(1997)

Came across an interesting article that explains,in English,what happened to Paula's cowboy.Fascinating to see this explained in terms of economics and game theory.Pity I can't set it to music:)


The Eligible-Bachelor Paradox
How economics and game theory explain the shortage of available, appealing men.
By Mark Gimein
Posted Wednesday, April 9, 2008, at 4:23 PM ET

It is a truth universally acknowledged that the available, sociable, and genuinely attractive man is a character highly in demand in social settings. Dinner hosts are always looking for the man who fits all the criteria. When they don't find him (often), they throw up their hands and settle for the sociable but unattractive, the attractive but unsociable, and, as a last resort, for the merely available.

The shortage of appealing men is a century-plus-old commonplace of the society melodrama. The shortage—or—more exactly, the perception of a shortage—becomes evident as you hit your late 20s and more acute as you wander into the 30s. Some men explain their social fortune by believing they've become more attractive with age; many women prefer the far likelier explanation that male faults have become easier to overlook.

The problem of the eligible bachelor is one of the great riddles of social life. Shouldn't there be about as many highly eligible and appealing men as there are attractive, eligible women?

Actually, no—and here's why. Consider the classic version of the marriage proposal: A woman makes it known that she is open to a proposal, the man proposes, and the woman chooses to say yes or no. The structure of the proposal is not, "I choose you." It is, "Will you choose me?" A woman chooses to receive the question and chooses again once the question is asked.

The idea of the woman choosing expressed in the proposal is a resilient one. The woman picking among suitors is a rarely reversed archetype of romantic love that you'll find everywhere from Jane Austen to Desperate Housewives. Or take any comic wedding scene: Invariably, it'll have the man standing dazed at the altar, wondering just how it is he got there.

Obviously, this is simplified—in contemporary life, both sides get plenty of chances to be selective. But as a rough-and-ready model, it's not bad, and it contains a solution to the Eligible-Bachelor Paradox.

You can think of this traditional concept of the search for marriage partners as a kind of an auction. In this auction, some women will be more confident of their prospects, others less so. In game-theory terms, you would call the first group "strong bidders" and the second "weak bidders." Your first thought might be that the "strong bidders"—women who (whether because of looks, social ability, or any other reason) are conventionally deemed more of a catch—would consistently win this kind of auction.

But this is not true. In fact, game theory predicts, and empirical studies of auctions bear out, that auctions will often be won by "weak" bidders, who know that they can be outbid and so bid more aggressively, while the "strong" bidders will hold out for a really great deal. You can find a technical discussion of this here. (Be warned: "Bidding Behavior in Asymmetric Auctions" is not for everyone, and I certainly won't claim to have a handle on all the math.) But you can also see how this works intuitively if you just consider that with a lot at stake in getting it right in one shot, it's the women who are confident that they are holding a strong hand who are likely to hold out and wait for the perfect prospect.

This is how you come to the Eligible-Bachelor Paradox, which is no longer so paradoxical. The pool of appealing men shrinks as many are married off and taken out of the game, leaving a disproportionate number of men who are notably imperfect (perhaps they are short, socially awkward, underemployed). And at the same time, you get a pool of women weighted toward the attractive, desirable "strong bidders."

Where have all the most appealing men gone? Married young, most of them—and sometimes to women whose most salient characteristic was not their beauty, or passion, or intellect, but their decisiveness.

Evolutionary psychologists will remind us that there's a long line of writing about "female choosiness" going back to Darwin and the male peacocks competing to get noticed by "choosy" mates with their splendid plumage. But you don't have to buy that kind of reductive biological explanation (I don't) to see the force of the "women choose" model. You only have to accept that for whatever socially constructed reason, the choice of getting married is one in which the woman is usually the key player. It might be the man who's supposed to ask the official, down-on-the-knee question, but it usually comes after a woman has made the central decision. Of course, in this, as in all matters of love, your experience may vary.

There may be those who look at this and try to derive some sort of prescription, about when to "bid," when to hold out, and when (as this Atlantic story urges) to "settle." If you're inclined to do that, approach with care. Game theory deals with how best to win the prize, but it works only when you can decide what's worth winning.

Article URL: http://www.slate.com/id/2188684/

You have been Rick Rolled!!!

This video just brings tears of laughter to my eyes.I'd heard about it,but words could not adequately convey it's awesomeness.I think I used to own the pair of shorts the black guy in the video is wearing.

http://www.internetisseriousbusiness.com/

I wish I'd found this before April 1st......

PS To view that link,you bring three minutes of time,a set of speakers and a sense of humor:)

Edit:For those having problems with that link,here's a Youtube link;it doesn't have the full effect of the first link,but it will play:)

Recycle

Main Entry:¹re·cy·cle Pronunciation:\(ˌ)rē-ˈsī-kəl\ Function:verb
transitive verb 1: to pass again through a series of changes or treatments: as a: to process (as liquid body waste, glass, or cans) in order to regain material for human use /b: recover /c: to reuse or make (a substance) available for reuse for biological activities through natural processes of biochemical degradation or modification.

Courtesy www.merriam-webster.com



Ever recycled eba?You know,the yellow(or white) end product of the reaction between garri and good old H2O?I have.In these days of environmental consciousness,I thought it was worthwhile to explore the possible alternative uses of left over eba.


Put eba in large bowl.
Add large amount of water.
Soak until done.Hopefully someone will offer you something else to eat before then.
Scrounge for spare lumps of sugar (always a prized commodity).
Mix.
Wait.If no fumes from bowl,try first spoon.
Wait.Ensure no gagging(very important,you can't afford to waste).
Proceed to dig in,till hunger propitiated.
Save some for later:D

Joking?Well,the save some for later bit.Not the rest though:just one of several delicacies I was introduced to in boarding school.Believe me,several times I was hungry enough to try pretty much anything.Garri in all its flavours was a staple.Garri with sugar,garri with salt,garri with crayfish and pepper,garri with cabin biscuits,garri without (otherwise known as naked garri).During my boarding school years I drank enough garri to win medals.And I wasn't alone.Anybody eat anything worse?


Currently listening to Rise Against.

Thought I'd Share

A friend sent me this.I found it funny enough to share.Enjoy:)


It was the first day of the session and a new direct entry student,

Mensah, a Ghanaian joined the class in one of Nigeria 's university.

The Lecturer said, "Let's begin by reviewing some Nigerian history."

"Who said 'I shall return to die in the land of my fathers.'"

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Mensah, who had his hand up.

"King Jaja of Opobo, 1875"

"Very good!"

"Who said 'the land use act will feed the nation'"?

Again, no response except from Mensah: "Obasanjo, 1976".

The Lecturer snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed. Mensah,

who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do."

The lecturer heard a loud whisper: " Ghana must go."

"Who said that?" she demanded

Mensah put his hand up. "Buhari, 1984".

At that point, a student in the back scornfully said,"Hmmm, you think you are smart"

The Lecturer glared and asked, "All right! Now, who said that?"

Again, Mensah said "Babangida to Abiola, 1992."

Now furious, another student yelled,"Oh yeah? Eat this!"

Mensah jumped out of his chair waving his hand and shouting to the lecturer,

"Indian mistress to Abacha, 1998!"

Now, with almost mob hysteria, someone said,

"You little Shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you"

Mensah frantically yelled at the top of his voice, "Chris Uba to Ngige,2004!

The Lecturer fainted, and as the class gathered around her on the floor,someone said,

"Oh shit, we're in BIG trouble now!"

Mensah whispered, "Chimaroke Nnamani,James Ibori,Ayodele Fayose,Lucky Igbinedon,2007” .

Heartbreakingly Funny

This,for some reason,is heartbreaking.Funny,but heartbreaking.Found it on a Val's Day issue at truckbearingkibble.com

What Do I Call This?

"I believe that fun is a renewable resource"-Seaworld advert

Happy Leap Day!Hey,it only comes around every four years unlike some other holidays I could name.We're already two months into 2008.Damn,but time seems to fly these days.And I'm sill broke.Um,God,wasn't this year supposed to be ,you know,different from last year?I need money!And I'd prefer not to have to marry Britney Spears to get it,thank you.

Any ideas on how I can make fifty thousand US in ten weeks?That doesn't involve selling a kidney?

Talent shows

I'm listening to Kate Nash.Really grooving that Cockney accent.And I officially declare Foundations to be the official dysfunctional relationship song of this blog.At least until something better comes along.The way her characters....dig at each other in that song puts me in mind of every couple I've seen.

Was going to put a video up,but hey,that's what youtube is for:).

Cookie Monster

I love Cookie Monster.I love his unabashed enjoyment of life.I love the purity of his passion,and the way he always seemed happy.
I marvel at his constitution,and wish I had his digestion.He's an icon of a less complicated time,and a reminder not to take things too seriously.One life,people.Live it.

Below is a clip of the great man....thing...whatever,there's a Cookie Monster interview below.Cookie!!!!

http://www.npr.org/blogs/incharacter/2008/02/cookie_monster_comes_to_npr.html

Maybe next time I'll talk about Miss Piggy.Now there's a complicated character.....

That Calms the Savage Beast

Joshua Kadison - Jessie.Lovely song.
Thank you Boorish.

Falling in love is free

Most boring Grammy Awards since forever.When the most memorable performance is that by Josh Groban (yeah,who) and an opera singer,you got issues.Hope the Oscars are better.'Nuff said.

Came across two articles about the relationship between romance and finance.Thought it was pertinent,particularly this week.First one's an amusing insight into how men and women think.See it here
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB120250934232254935.html?mod=rss_Weekend_and_

The second is a sobering look at the financial costs of serious dating.Consider,forty thousand dollars and two and a half years is the average cost and duration of a courtship leading to marriage.That's sixteen thousand dollars a year.And it isn't spread out.Let me try and itemize it over a two and half year period.(Note,this is in the US)

Chocolates and candy-$186.70
Eating out-$8000.00
Valentine's Day-$620.22
Entertainment-$1775.00
Engagement ring-$4225.00
Wedding-$27,882.00
Honeymoon-$4,478.00

Total-$47166.92

And that's for one that leads to marriage.Thank you, Businessweek .Better go look for a buyer for that left kidney guys.Whoever said no romance without finance sure wasn't kidding.Don't believe me?Take a look at the links yourself.

http://www.businessweek.com/lifestyle/content/feb2008/bw2008027_681364.htm?campaign_id=rss_topStories

http://images.businessweek.com/ss/08/02/0208_costoflove/index_01.htm


Anyone wishing for simpler times?Well,you can't have them.Happy Val's Day y'all.

Act 1:US Presidential Primaries

Anyone else watching the prime time drama that is the US presidential race?Break out the popcorn people!We're still in the first half,and this show has produced more drama than any episode of Secrets of the Sands(which I maintain was the best imported soap on NTA).Stirring speeches,whispered allegations,hair breadth wins and dramatic comebacks.It's just fantastic!

In the Red corner the Republican race is all but done(mixed metaphors,I know).John McCain has gone from too broke to pay his campaign staff to presumptive nominee of the Republican Party.The millionaire Mitt Romney,having spent over $30 million of his own money to not much effect has decided to call it a day.The Good Ol Boy and the Angry Rebel (Huckabee and Paul,respectively) are too marginal to garner mainstream appeal.But the heir still faces grumbles within his own party of being too like the other side.Will they stab him in the back?Or just undermine him by doing nothing in the face of the Blue Menace?

In the Blue corner,She Who Must Not Be Named(hereafter known as SWMNBN) and The Plucky Upstart are neck and neck for their party's nomination.Having muscled The Fine Boy out,both sides are now digging in for an even more protracted campaign while casting worried eyes over at the goings on in the Red corner.Who will win?Who will lose?And who will end up bankrupt?Who will survive to engage the Red Terror?

Stay tuned for the thrills,the chills and the commercials for Gatorade.This shit just doesn't get old:D

I miss Nigeria

I miss Nigeria.Funny,ain't it?Here I am,in the United States of America,God's own country herself.A fair number of my countrymen would sell their unborn children to be where I am now.And yet....
I miss Naija.I miss strolling down the block scoping chicks.I miss the ability to melt into a crowd of people.I miss the independence of living on ur own.I miss calling up my friends just to trade insults.I miss the pain of shared sorrows.I miss the joys of shared triumphs.I miss the teasing.I miss the flirting.I miss........her.
I miss my former life,warts and all.And I never really thought I would.
Life funny sha.


Curently listening to The Heart of Everything by Within Temptation.

New Year.Yay!!!Sure hope it's better than the last.But we always wish that.